“What Durham needs is marriage
counseling,” Angie Santiago said during
a recent encounter at Vaguely Reminiscent, one of my favorite places to
purchase gifts for women.
We were discussing the possible renewal of the
vows taken at Marry Durham, the legendary event Santiago and I helped organize
in 2011. We discussed the changes in Durham since that day and the reasons making
it hard to imagine proudly participating in a service dedicated to reveling our
love for Durham.
Less than an hour later, I found myself emmeshed
in a similar conversation with David Streib, a Durham based musician, artist
and craftsman who participated in Marry Durham.
“I miss the community from back then,” Streib
said. “I don’t know the people who live here.”
It’s a sentiment felt by many of the people
who made Durham home before the wave of new residents cleaned up the dirty that
made Durham unique.
We talked about when Whisky, a bar in downtown,
was a common gathering spot to listen to Brandford Marsalis and his jazz quartet
entertain just because it was a cool thing to do. We talked about when Motorco
Music Hall first opened on Rigsbee, and when my son King Kenney and his business partner Jeff Johnson curated Michael Jackson versus Prince, tributes
to Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield, Aretha Franklin and customed-themed dance
parties.
There’s a sadness in the voices of the people
who remember those golden years between 2010-2013. When we gathered in the
parking lot of Motorco to marry Durham, it’s because we felt the love. That
love is gone after the intrusion of other lovers. Our pride and deep love for
community is distorted by a prettier face – taller, new buildings -owned by
people from far away.
We miss the Hayti Heritage Center Blues
Festival when it was held at Durham Athletic Park, where the movie Bull Durham
was filmed and the former home of the Durham Bulls before James Goodman, owner
of the Bulls, held the city of Durham hostage with a threat to move the team.
The city financed the parking deck for the Bulls and the surge of development south
of the railroad commenced.
We discussed when life on Ninth Street was different.
“Have you seen Concrete,” Streib said. “Man, I miss Concrete.”
Concrete is one of the beloved members of the
homeless community that frequented Ninth Street before national chains invaded
our space. I wrote, Home is a Cup of Coffee, a short story featured in 27 Views of Durham, as a work of fiction based on Concrete’s story.
Streib asked me to send him the vows to the Marry
Durham ceremony. His request reminded me of images from the day while
officiating the service in one of the robes designed and made by my mother.
They counted thousands of people representing the idealism of Durham residents
in 2011.
I read my own words before sending them to
Streib.
Santiago is right. We need counseling.
For those who remember that day, this is for
you. For those who missed it, this is what you missed.
MARRY DURHAM CEREMONY by Carl W. Kenney II on March 19, 2011
Today, we merge our memories. We gather to
collect our thoughts related to the city we all love so much. Our collective
memories serve as the backdrop for a day made possible due to our appreciation
for what it means for us to be joined by our former days.
The mixture of hues and ideologies is what
makes this day a celebration of oneness.
It is our willingness to build beyond our distinction that makes our
home a place like no other. We gather to show our love for the myriad of places
we all have come to love. We cherish our assortment of places for fine dining-
some with seats and others with serving stations on wheels.
We honor the places that educate us: our
schools and universities, our museums and libraries and the vast nonprofits
dedicated to building hope and teaching a better way. We mark the memories of
those who helped build the Black Wall Street.
We remember the lives of those who treaded the rivers of our hallowed
union. We stand today a community made better by our difference. We have fought
the lure of sacrificing the range of our difference for a façade of inclusion.
The strength of our bond is the clash of
colors and perspectives on the canvas called Durham. We are more than
communities divided by districts, streets, subdivisions, and roadblocks. We are
married by our thoughts. We are married by a love made deeper by the strength
of the others in our community. We are more than the labels others create to
separate and define. We are married to the truth of universal claims. We are
more powerful because of every you in our city.
Today, we marry our city. In doing so we
affirm our love for each other. Today, we marry each other. Beyond race. Beyond
gender. Beyond class. Beyond sexual orientation. Beyond religion and all other
declarations. For better and for worse. In times of economic strength and
recession. We love you Durham and we love each person gathered to bear witness
to our absolute love for all that makes our happy home.
Now, as we hold hands in solidarity, we build
a human bond of love stronger than all words and actions of contradiction. We
claim the command of our communal witness.
I commit to cherish diversity by celebrating
the contributions made by so many in Durham. I promise to keep our streets
clean and to do all I can to make them safe.
I vow to show love for Durham by shopping locally and by protecting our
natural resources. I promise to learn more about and to support Durham’s
nonprofits. I will support our local artist by purchasing their work and
sharing with others the creative geniuses in Durham. I vow to participate in
local government by electing local leaders and holding them accountable to the
meaning of our union. I promise to promote the strengths of the city I love
rather than to demean and destroy the reputation when I disagree with the
actions of others I vow to love. In good weather and during snowstorms, during
good days and heated elections-I give myself to you Durham…until death do us
part. And, if I relocate to another city, I will spread the word wherever I
go-there is no place like Durham.
As we take time to gaze at the city we love so
much we proclaim that love. We begin by
sharing our love with each other. We
pause now to share our love by finding a person - a person you have never met -and
sharing your love for the city and the people who make this your happy home.
(People share with
each other for 30 seconds).
And now, by the power
invested in me by the city I love so much. I now pronounce you citizen and
city. Let no news article, blog posting or outburst of another person destroy
what you have for one another.
You may express your
love by shouting from the top of your voice - WE LOVE YOU DURHAM
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