Joe Biden's gaffe: a lesson in whitesplaing

I Hate it when white people tell me how Black people should think.

Whitesplaining is rampant on social media. Take note of opinions protected by enough social distancing to inspire trash talk regarding what Black people should think and do. In other words, say that to my face. The boldness of it all.  The assumptions of privilege and unwarranted intrusion into the life Black Twitter.

No one told you to interrupt our Black think tank session.

Joe Biden trolled our Black think session. He, like countless white people allowed access to our social media spaces, was welcomed in for a visit. You can sit and enjoy Black culture and thought. Come on in, take a seat. Enjoy your time. Like a glass of iced tea? Glad to see you.

The Breakfast Club, a syndicated radio show hosted by DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne tha God, is a Black think tank session. It is part of a witness of Black spaces that exist to provide comfort, solidarity and humor for Black people. These places are part of “the culture”.  It’s where and how we figure things out without the intrusion of white folks informing the conversation.

Melissa Harris-Perry discusses the importance of these places in Barbershops, Bibles & BET: Everyday Talk and Black Political Thought. These places are where Black people gather to flush things out together. It’s where views are shared for an informal chat involving “what we gonna do”.  These are places that welcome extreme disagreement. Black people are allowed to scream at one another because that is what real family does when there are a variety of perspectives in the room.

These are sacred spaces where Black people gather to “understand persistent social and economic inequality, to identify the significance of race in that inequality, and to devise strategies for overcoming it,” says Harris-Perry. She provides the roadmap for understanding Black politics by highlighting the community dialogue among Black people in constructing their collective political interest.

Harris-Perry offers four ideologies that shape the framework for black political thought: Black Nationalism, Black Feminism, Black Conservatism and Liberal Integrationism.  Black radio, barbershops, beauty salons, the black church, Black twitter and Facebook are the places where Black political thought is debated every day. This is the Black community think tank where the Black agenda is designed with an informal strategy to confront white supremacy and institutionalized racism with the goal of empowering “we” the people.

Many argue the Black community isn’t a monolithic voice. That is true, but we are all gathered for the family meeting – be it at the barbershop, at church or listening to Joe Biden talking trash on The Breakfast Club. We come with differing political perspective – Black Nationalism, Black Feminism, Black Conservatism and Liberal Integrationism – but all of us are listening and posting comments aimed at creating a Black Agenda.

You are welcome to join us, but, please, don’t misunderstand your place within our discussion. Sit over there and mind your business. This is Black folk business.

That may ruffle the feathers of your white privilege. I would apologize but doing so would refute the claims of Harris-Perry’s thesis. You can sit and watch, but we are conducting family business, albeit in public view.

Don’t speak out of turn. We got some questions for white people. You are welcome to answer our questions but keep your opinions regarding what we should think and say to yourself.

Carry on now.

Show love by voting on Valentine's Day

What better way to say I love you than to vote on Valentine’s Day?

That was my first thought upon awaking this morning at 4:30 a.m.  I don’t know why? I’m strange like that sometimes. Thoughts come to me from divergent places. Get it. Voting. Love. I know, you don’t get it.

It took considerable time for me to process the significance of correlating voting with the day created to give men a chance to recuperate after a year of endless mistakes. What better way to say you’re sorry for being a worthless example of simmering testosterone than with a box of chocolate and a dozen roses.

It never helps when a man beats his chest while exclaiming, “I’m a good man, woman!” It’s best to get the chocolate and roses, no matter how little time was spent sleeping on the couch while eating dog biscuits. Staying out of the doghouse is a major accomplishment, but, in most cases, forgetting Valentine’s Day will lead to a temporary suspension.

Voting isn’t a romantic activity. Right? Did I miss something since the last Presidential election? Have the rules shifted? Wait! That’s it.

I’ve sensed deep barrenness since Trump defeated Clinton. The way people talk – both to themselves and to each other – has radically changed. Everyone seems more antsy than before. I’ve witnessed more rolling of eyes, snapped fingers and hands on the hips. There is a devoid in patience occupied by limited listening, partial understanding and no trust.

Things are more tense than before. Politics has morphed into a game mimicking mortal combat. Words are weapons thrust on the battlefield with an intent to destroy the ideology of anyone standing in the way. T-shirts and baseball caps are the new age uniforms of soldiers shoved into battle by conflicting beliefs. Political statements are everywhere, MAGA, CNN FAKE NEWS, MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN and shirts that make a joke to keep people from crying -” the problem with political jokes is sometimes they get elected”.

Insensitivity has replaced common decency. Making a point translates into I don’t care what you think.  The workplace is often a warzone and churches are places to rally the troops.

What’s love got to do with it?

Maybe it’s something in my dreams. Maybe it’s something I heard in a song, a prayer, a thought or a moment of weakness. Maybe that moment of weakness is the thing granting me strength and hope to believe.

In what? What is left to believe? Love? A world where we can love again?

The best way to show love, to be the embodiment of love, is to vote on Valentine’s Day. In voting there is hope we can fix it. All of it. By voting we have an opportunity to elevate our local communities, our state and national government beyond the chaos eating at our souls. By electing people determined to restore sanity into a nation inundated with a desire to fight, we can find love again.

Some will argue we never had it. Love, some say, is no more than an emotion familiar within the context of tribalism. I’ll love my family; you love your own, defines what we have always been. For some, it is all we will ever be. It’s sad to think that might be true. If it is, what we have now is an amplification of what has always been true.

God knows I hope that’s not true. I pray we can do better than this.

I show love on Valentine’s Day with my vote. My vote reflects my love for America. It’s a statement regarding the world I envision for myself, my children and all the little children of the world. My vote is an expression of the life I want for all of us – united, one nation, under God. For those who don’t believe in God, one nation under the God of your own understanding.

 My vote is a prayer for unity infused with a bunch of love.

 America, I do love you.

 Now, shut up and kiss me.

Race Matters: Who will get my vote for President?

I don’t know who’s getting my vote for President.

That statement troubles me. Early voting starts today. Bernie Sanders will be in town tomorrow. I’m interested to see how that plays out.

This is complicated.

The pundits say Joe Biden still leads with Black voters. I struggle with that. It’s hard to dismiss his contribution in passing the Crime Bill. It doesn’t help that Bernie also voted in support of the legislation responsible for increased Black incarceration.

I’m still angry about Bernie’s rapid dismissal of reparations for “being too hard to pass.” Of all people. You can’t talk to me about things being too hard.

Everyone is dirty. People in South Bend, Indiana say former Mayor Pete Buttigieg has a problem with Black People. He did well to shuck it off with an apology after a hullabaloo regarding the termination of the Black chief of police. It takes more than talk to convince Black people.

Mike Bloomberg is showing up as a potential pick for Black voters. How does that happen given his policy of “stop and frisk” when he was Mayor of York City? Claims of racial profiling must not hold the same contempt as back in the day when it felt like people were being stopped for chewing gum while walking down the street.

Speaking of the police and the criminal justice system, how can a Black person justify voting for Amy Klobuchar after reports that she failed to prosecute any of the officer in Minnesota who shot unarmed Black people. Not one. That’s the type of record from of an Attorney General that forces deep pondering regarding motives laced in white supremacy. I’ll pass.

I like Elizabeth Warren, but her affection for plans makes we wonder if she has the ability to follow through. How many of us know a person who has all the solutions while lacking the capacity to get it done? Back home, we call that walking the walk more than talking the talk. Besides, I need to see more Black people.

As for Tom Steyer. I’ll stop there because I heard the collective gasp – who?

I’m almost convinced Tulsi Gabbard is a Russian plant to further destroy America’s democracy. Nothing left to say about that.

My frustration is elevated by the graveyard of Black candidates dismissed by mostly white progressives for failing the radical left litmus test. Duval Patrick is out less than 90 days after jumping in the race. That’s not even a good sprint.

Kamala Harris and Cory Booker represented Black folks hoping for another Black President. Harris was blasted for being too tough on Black crime and Booker was challenged for dancing too much with big shots on Wall Street.

It begs the question, what will it take for another Black person to get a shot? It’s hard not to feel the lesson of fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Is this white America’s answer to never being fooled again? Please holla no.

Maybe I’m struggling to get motivated because of how we got here. We gained some things during the Obama years, but access is not one of them. It feels like back to business as usual with a Democratic Party that talks about race with no real dialogue with Black people. Don’t get me started on how Black women continue to be taken for granted.

The politics of galvanizing white undecided voters leaves me stumbling to find words to address the agony of the taken for granted Black voter. It doesn’t feel good being taken for granted. Is that what Biden is doing?

I can see it now – people blaming Black people, again, for Trump winning the election. I can hear them, in my imagination, talk about low Black turnout. Dang. I get sick of Black people getting blamed for everything.

Sigh. I have to go vote in the primary, but I don’t have a candidate for President. None of them represents me. Not one. Should I vote for the person who can best defeat Trump? If so, what does that say about me. Strike that. What does that say about life and politics in America?

Go to the back of the bus, please. Well, they did say please.

Durham teachers organization makes assumptions rooted in white supremacist powerplay

A recent Facebook message questioning the leadership of Alexandra Valladares, candidate for Durham Public School Board, uncovers how white supremacy works.

The implementation of a white supremacist strategy is not limited to the work of white people. Colonialism infuses, in the minds of some Black people, deep-seeded internalized racism. It is easy to find cases where Black and Brown people cooperate with white people in constructing  a white supremacist agenda. 

It's important to get that out before you start looking at the black people in the room.

This is one of those cases. It's an example of how teachers, within a school system with an overwhelming majority of white teachers (78%), refuse to concede the interest and needs of Black and Brown students and their parents. Their statement indicates their advocacy for their own interest as puppets in a white supremacist system.

A strategy of white supremacy is to cancel the leadership of Black and Brown people. It’s done by delegitimizing people for not playing well with white people.

A person who dedicates their life as an advocate for Black and Brown families is questioned for failing to cooperate with people working to maintain the system. White supremacy plays by a set of rules. Collaborating with controlling parties is viewed as a measure of effective leadership. White supremacy attacks people who refuse to succomb to their mandate. It punishes people for not doing what they want, how they want and when they want it done.

Advocates are called lone rangers. They are labeled ineffective because they function outside the established system. Their personality becomes the subject of disdain. They’re called a scalawag for their consistent focus on the problem versus a willingness to compromise within the existing system.

White supremacy has it's own agenda. It attempts to strip advocates of their integrity by punishing anyone for failing to bow and kiss the ring. The advocacy of Black and Brown students and parents, in the example of the Facebook mischaraterization of Alexandra, takes backseat to bowing down to the whims of an organizations agenda. It is a cruel hypocricy that makes voting for a block of perferred candidates more relevant that advocacy.

White privilege assumes the problem is the person when it’s the system. In this case, the problem is a gang of teachers desirious of manipulating the political process at the expense of Black and Brown children.

Their aim is to credential leaders who affirm their position with limited critique of structures from within. Organizations aren’t established to be examined from within. I call foul play. The power of an endorsement plays out as a weapon margainilizing Black and Brown advocacy. The system is a monster in need of review. All of it. From a gang of teachers dismissive of Black and Brown advocacy, to an endorsement process that makes who a person voted for the purity test. When teachers place politics outside the classromm above the needs of students within the classrom, it's time for those teachers to reconsider what they do for a living.

The attack against Alexandra Valladares is a case study regarding how the quest to maintain white dominance plays out in real time. Reactions divulge the rage of white fragility. We are witnessing how support for diversity and inclusion plays out when conversations shift to the demand for equity.

We’re observing how conversations regarding race shift after racial and cultural competency minimizes the power of white people in Black and Brown spaces. The savior complex is uncovered with massive assumptions and hypocrisy. The matter of representation moves beyond the dynamics of diversity and inclusion to an attack on the character of the Black and Brown people fighting for equitable participation.

This is where the work is attacked. The effort that goes into advocating on behalf of Black & Brown parents and children becomes the subject of contention. All of that work to be heard and understood is translated into a litmus test for credible leadership.

The white person plays by the rules. That person works well with others. That Black or Brown person stands alone. These are massive assumptions rooted and maintained by the constructs of white supremacy. The decision to select and fight for the white person unravels how white supremacy hinders the work of Black and Brown engagement. They say - we can work with him, he’s one of us, he understands us, he plays by our rules.

White supremacy seeks to own the terms of legitimacy. Rather than conceding a need to listen and learn from advocates, people leading the work are challenged for questioning disparity.

The assumptions that follow are preposterous. Given the white person works better with the people within the system – that person is better qualified to serve Black and Brown students.  Given the Black person is attacking the system – we have reason to believe the white person is better qualified to work within our system. Given Alexandra isn't working with us, she must be working alone. 

Implying Alexandra is working alone negates all the students and parents she represents. Not working to endorse a white supremacist system is not the same as working alone. Not working with a gang of teachers, and the candidates they decided to endorse, is not a reflection of standing alone. It reflect not standing with them in Alexandra's desire to stand with the students and parents she represents.

Determining who to vote for is a personal decision. Each of us has the right to decide on our own. In reflecting on what that means, it helps to minimize language constructed from a white supremacist agenda. I’m not blaming people for not understanding. Not knowing is one of the consequences of centuries of institutionalized racism.

I do question people who continue using language rooted in white supremacist powerplay after hearing why that’s not okay. I also blame teachers for using their role as teachers to play political games at the expense of Black and Brown children.

Shame on all of you!

Gayle King's question reveals the story of Kobe becoming a better man

People are outraged by the line of questioning in Gayle King’s interview with Lisa Leslie.

It was too soon. The family is still grieving. She hasn’t applied the same standard in interviewing white men. Gayle, and sidekick Oprah, are engaged in a plan to undermine the integrity of Black men.

We’ve heard it all. King blasted back with criticism of CBS’s decision to release the clip. She says it’s valid to slam her when viewing the clip out of context. Snoop Dogg called her a bitch. It’s a media circus distracting from the mourning of Kobe Bean Bryant, who died with his 13-year-old daughter Gianna and seven other passengers in that horrific helicopter crash.

The grieving of Kobe’s death has been hard for all of us to endure. It’s one of those rare moments in which the world stops to take notice. It happened when Michael Jackson died. It happened when Prince and Whitney died. It happened when John Lennon was killed and when Elvis was found dead on a toilet.

Gayle’s controversial question forces a critical gaze related to how we ponder legacy. What do we do with the legacy of James Brown’s history of domestic violence? How does the press tell the story of Prince’s death without stepping on shaky ground? Is it the obligation of the press to cuddle the emotions of grieving family and fans, or is there more to the story that deserves to be told?

This is the essence of journalism. It’s not what we write, it’s how we write what we write that distinguished good reporting and storytelling from amateur journalism. There are layers to each story lurking beneath the desire to heal. How we tell the story challenges our desire to pander to the impulses of our readers. What the public desires should never take precedent over a story with a meaningful lesson.

I defend King’s right to ask the question. I do so because the question reveals the story of Kobe’s legacy. As people fume over the validity of the question, lost is the power of Kobe’s life lesson. Fearing the question hinders our ability to hear him speak from the grave.

Gayle’s question is about legacy. What is Kobe’s legacy? It’s easy to point to his accomplishments on the basketball court. Those are the feats we celebrate in life. The broader question for journalist to ask is what the lessons are we learn in death.

Kobe’s life gives us that answer, a person is best judged by how they deal with their worst mistake.

That’s a lesson for our children. It’s the story within the story that helps us build upon Kobe’s lifelong commitment of learning from his mistakes.

It happened after he was accused of rape. Listen to the lesson in the public statement after the dismissal of the case.

First, I want to apologize directly to the young woman involved in this incident. I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences she has suffered in the past year. Although this year has been incredibly difficult for me personally, I can only imagine the pain she has had to endure. I also want to apologize to her parents and family members, and to my family and friends and supporters, and to the citizens of Eagle, Colorado.

I also want to make it clear that I do not question the motives of this young woman. No money has been paid to this woman. She has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. After months of reviewing discovery, listening to her attorney, and even her testimony in person, I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter.

I issue this statement today fully aware that while one part of this case ends today, another remains. I understand that the civil case against me will go forward. That part of this case will be decided by and between the parties directly involved in the incident and will no longer be a financial or emotional drain on the citizens of the state of Colorado

It's certain the apology was part of a legal strategy. We shouldn’t overthink the apology. It’s what followed that informs the lesson regarding legacy. It’s how he owned it. It’s how he built what appears to be a better marriage. He learned to play piano to convince Vanessa, his wife, not to divorce him. He took his legendary focus on the court and applied it to his marriage.

That’s a lesson involving legacy. It takes questions to build a case for judging Kobe based on how he dealt with his biggest mistake.

There are other mistakes. Most people aren’t limited to one in a lifetime.

Two years after being fined by the NBA for using a homophobic slur toward a referee, Kobe admonished two Twitter users for using homophobic language.

"Just letting you know @pacsmoove @pookeo9 that using 'your gay' as a way to put someone down ain't ok! #notcool delete that out ur vocab."

Bryant was responding to a message from Twitter user @pookeo9, a 16-year-old Canadian.

The first tweet was directed to the @kobebryant handle and read, "Let's make out in bed Kobe."

@Pacsmove re tweeted that message, adding "you're gay" to the beginning.

Kobe acknowledged his past issues with using homophobic language.

"Exactly, that wasn't cool and was ignorant on my part. I own it and learn from it and expect the same from others."

These are questions regarding legacy. Life after death doesn’t mean much if we limit legacy to what happened on the basketball court. Pressing the question regarding legacy helps in the reporting of the story of the man hidden from public view. Some may say that’s too personal. It’s none of our business. I say it matters when the lesson inspires change.

Knowing what I know about Kobe from what I’ve read and witnessed, I believe Kobe would be okay with the question. His legacy is about improving on the basketball court. I’m convinced the same applied to his life off the court. Becoming a better man, a better husband, a great father and friend was his commitment after he walked away from the game of basketball. On the court he learned from his mistakes. Off the court, he did the same.

Journalist are obligated to tell that story. Kobe worked to hard to tell it, and we should press questions to help tell his story.

The question is a gift because of the answer. Fearing the shame impedes the witness of change.

That’s why you ask the question.

Confession of a grumpy black man

I’m not proud of the person I’ve become since Donald J. Trump dubbed himself America’s Fűhrer. That statement alone is enough to make my case. I have lost patience for anyone pleading a point undermining my ability to refrain from slapping a fool.

Restraint is out the door. The ability to concede alternatives truths is out the door. My will to be guided and influenced by the utopic notion of a beloved community has faded with the termination of government with checks and balances.

It’s not all Trump’s fault. Some of the culpability belongs to white dudes waving symbols of the Confederacy. It feels like a statement regarding my staying in what they perceive as my proper place. It’s taken copious inhales followed by exhales, followed by clinched fist and internalized reminders not to go Django on their ass.

It’s complicated.

I partially blame the assumptions of theological claims. What it means for me to assert being a Christian is masked by the ongoing pursuit to define what that means. My Jesus is not the same as that Jesus. He prays and spends time away from the masses to relight passion after the critics come to steal joy. My Jesus goes to big mama to mediate and engage in some critical cussing after folks show up on a mission to block blessings.

My Jesus is a big black dude with the attitude of many clouds of witnesses who have travelled through the valley of discrimination and death. My Jesus doesn’t bow to the whims of white supremacy and all the cousins of disparity. My Jesus is an empowering messiah with a heart for the least of these.

My theology hasn’t changed much over the years. I’ve always viewed the work of salvation being about more than leading Black folks to the streets paved with gold. It didn’t take long for me to discover the irrelevance of pimping truth about life on the other side of death devoid of some blessing during this life.

My theology has always been fueled by a rage in disparity between the gifts of white folk after creating hell for Black folks on earth juxtaposed by the burden of Black folks in forgiving all the trouble they’ve seen.  There has to be more than hope for better days in the sweet by and by.

The privilege of whiteness is in embracing life on earth without regard for death. My theology challenges notions of blessings versus the curse of blackness. It’s what stirs the fever of my preaching. The words declared with each sermon I preach defies the assumptions of theological claims. Don’t just pray about it. Take what belongs to you with the zeal of a radical Jesus guiding your footsteps.

All of that is true, but this is different. There’s a sickness in the air which feels like brewing fever. It’s hot in here. It’s too hot to calm the weariness alone. This is worse than ever before due to the absence of allies willing to concede their participation in the problem.

The advocates and allies of Black liberation have morphed into the wardens of continued incarceration. That’s how it feels. The massive whitesplaining. Delineating what Black people need. Forcing Black silence in exchange for their continued right to rule. Containing spaces to expand dominance for the sake of additional profit. Renaming gentrification to justify white privilege. Enforcing rules to manage diversity, inclusion and equity when it rationalizes their interest.

What I feel extends beyond the blatant racism of alt-right movements. My rage transcends the overt intentions of conservative party manipulation and games played to control Black voters. It’s what progressive, so-called good white people, are often incapable of seeing.

It’s not the fault of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. The privilege wedged in the belly of progressive thinking people has always been there. It’s not new. Their presence may have been to resolve guilt. Or, it may be out of a desire to repair the forces hindering Black people.

Don’t Black people need a savior?

It could be about that.

These are the obvious ramifications of life in Trump’s American nightmare. Most of that may be true. Some of it may be a perception. All of it feels real.

It’s the perception part that leaves me hating what has happened to me – the lack of patience, the hardening of a heart, the lack of sensitivity for those outside the Black experience.

There are good white people in this world. I know that’s true, but it’s hard to believe it’s true given this current American dilemma.

I’m becoming a grumpy old man.

Welton: Wendy Jacobs called Wendell Davis' actions "retaliatory"

Marqueta Welton, in the deposition in her case against Durham County, says Wendy Jacobs told her County Manager Wendell Davis downsized her position as an act of retaliation.

Welton’s statement alleges a pattern of behavior connecting Jacobs as a co-conspirator in a plan to force the termination of Davis. Read previous blog regarding the depositions

Welton, in responding to questions from Matt Leerberg, the attorney representing Durham County, relates a conversation she had with Jacobs involving a reassignment plan. The plan changed her title from Deputy County Manager to Economic Development Officer.  The conversation preceded the filing of her first grievance against Davis.

Welton says Jacobs’ general impression of Davis’ reassignment to be “retaliatory”. After being pressed on Jacobs’ specific words, Welton says “I don’t know what her exact words were, I think it was more the vindictive vernacular.”

The connection between Welton’s conversation with Jacobs regarding the perception of retaliation, an April 14, 2016 email forwarded to Welton’s personal AOL account from a member of the Board of County Commissioners and Welton’s filing of a grievance against Davis, exposes a potential plot to manipulate the charges against Davis for political gain.

Welton testifies that she held onto her job until after the 2016 election in hope that the new slate of County Commissioner would reverse Davis’ realignment decision.

What led to Welton believing a change of the slate of County Commissioner would lead to a change back to her previous role as Deputy County Manager? Is it possible a deal was made, by Jacobs and other members of the County Commissioners, to appoint Welton after dismissing Davis from his position as Durham’s County Manager?

These are critical questions for voters leading up to the March 3^rd election. Past, and often present, tension among board members, related to the employment and contract of Davis, provides the context for the politicization of Welton reassignment.  Voters should press for answers regarding Jacobs’ role in instigating Welton’s lawsuit against Durham County. In addition, was there an agreement between Welton and members of the board regarding plans after the election? If so, what was that agreement?

Welton’s case against Durham County cost $304,311 to defend. The United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit ruled in favor of the lower court’s decision in favor of the County.

What remans is lots of money spent to defend a case involving a disgruntled employee. That and a deposition that raises serious questions regarding the role of past and present members of the Board of County Commissioners in fueling the flames of a discontented employee. It matters that conversations between Welton and board members may have led to a lawsuit against the county. It matters if promises were made, emails shared, and sides taken against the County Manager to promote a personal agenda.

It matters because members of the Board of County Commissioners are elected to promote the interest of the county – not the will of an employee in filing a lawsuit against the county.

Lawsuit filed by former Durham County employee reveals potential cooperation with members of the Board of County Commissioners

As Democratic candidates for the Durham Board of County Commissioners gear up for the upcoming primary, the deposition of Marqueta Welton, in her lawsuit against Durham County, raises questions regarding a strategy between Welton and members of the board to oust Durham County Manager Wendell Davis.


Welton, in a case that cost Durham County $304,311 to defend, alleges Wendall Davis demoted her from her position as Deputy County Manager in retaliation for competing to become Durham County Manager. Welton’s deposition offers circumstantial evidence that her case against Davis was a political weapon to force his termination.


Matt Leerberg, the attorney representing Durham County, entered into evidence an email placed in Welton’s personal AOL account. The email from Wendall Davis was addressed to Commissioners and could only be received by a member of the Board of County Commissioners. Welton forwarded the email, dated April 14, 2016, to herself with the original sender deleted. The subject of the email involved organizational realignment.


“I can’t explain to you how an email from Mr. Davis to the Commissioners wound up in my exchange unless it was sent to me by someone,” Welton said.


“Did Wendy Jacobs send it to you,” Leerberg asked.


“I don’t know,” Welton said.


In the county’s realignment plan, Davis selected Deborah Craig-Ray, Gayle Harris, Jodi Miller, Jay Gibson and Claudia Hager as General Managers. The plan, implemented in April of 2016, shifted Welton into the role of Economic Development Officer. Welton alleges not being named a General Manager was an act of retaliation, a concern shared by Michael Page, a member of the Board of County Commissioners during realignment.


“I was speaking to him, I had to talk to him about an economic development matter, and he said he didn’t know why Wendell Davis was doing this to me, and that business people in the community were asking him about it, and that Wendell was going to have to explain this to the business community,” Welton said.


Leerberg entered into evidence notes from a September 7, 2016 conversation between Welton and her counselor involving dropping the lawsuit.


“Marqueta is hopeful that new Board will sit in December and may toss or not support Wendell,” the counselor’s notes state.


“But it’s true that as of September 2016, you were holding out hope that maybe the election would change things and your fortunes would be reversed, right,” Leerberg asked.

“Yes,” Welton said.


“You were hoping that a new slate of County Commissioners would come in and…”


“I was actually hoping that the old slate would have done the right thing, but then after the election, I hoped that the new slate would,” Welton said.


The County realignment plan was placed for approval on the Board of County Commissioner’s Monday, April 11, 2016 consent agenda. In his deposition, Davis said the plan was placed on the agenda as a formality.


“They had all been briefed about it. And Ms. Welton obviously had some angst and consternation about the reorganization and up until this point of course had done an in-run,” Davis said.

The item was removed from the agenda after board members indicated reorganization is within the purview of the County Manager. Welton resigned from the county shortly before the new slate of Commissioners were installed.


In his deposition, Davis says Welton wasn’t named a General Manager because the five chosen had a greater skill set and better attitude.


“If she will be truthful with you, she will tell you that what I said to her verbatim was you’re second in command. I expect you to step up and lead in your role,” said Davis. “But throughout the course of the better part of a year, she was not interested in doing that.”


Welton appealed the dismissal of her claim of retaliation by the United States District Court for the Middle District of North Carolina.


“Welton fails to identify any evidence suggesting that her protected conduct during the pendency of her demotion caused her to receive an even worse reassignment or an even lower salary,” the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit ruled. “Thus, because Welton’s grievance simply had no bearing on the earlier decision to demote her, the district court properly awarded summary judgment to the County.”


The question before voters involves the potential politicization of Welton’s case against Davis. If Welton was being used as a pawn to terminate Davis, or in negotiating his contract extension, the cost of members of the Board of County Commissioner collaborating with Welton is $304,311.

Catching up, buffer and crabmat

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’m filled with so much rage.  Part of that reflection involves pondering if this is new versus some old undealt with issues in need of a therapist and a soft couch to solve.

It could be the upshot of social media. All the time spent on Facebook leads to an unhappy Carl. The thoughts of people I assumed to be my friends shows up on my page often forcing my fingers to press the block button. Viewing how people really feel makes it harder to trust.

The lessons I’ve learned involve pain so deep it takes my dead ancestors ample time to explain. It’s angst in my soul conjured by memories beyond my life experience. I’m connected to these encounters by virtue of burdens black people are still grappling to overcome.

Catching Up

This one came to me in a dream. I was the anchor on a relay team. Four other teams were ahead of me. I took the baton to run the final 400 meters. I was more than 50 meters behind. Although I was the fastest person running the race, I didn’t have enough to catch the leader. I passed the others, but a didn’t have enough strength to win the race.

I watched as the winning team celebrated – four white men jubilant because the last leg began long before I received the baton. My frustration mounted as all the white men from the other teams looked at me with a venom that exposed feelings of my taking something from them. Although they began ahead of me, they felt I didn’t deserve to pass them. Their ominous glowering felt like a warning of things to come the next time I passed in my attempt to win a race.

That’s it!

That’s how it feels when I take a little walk through Facebook. It’s what I feel when I apply for work. It’s how I feel after showing up intent on winning this race called life. Whenever that happens, I’m starting far behind most of the white people with the advantages of white privilege.

The Buffer

This one is more about dropping the baton. It’s about rules changing during the race or not having enough to finish.

Why does it feel like I don’t have enough to buffer mistakes? That’s it! I’ve never had enough to protect me from seasons of massive lack. What happens when you get sick with no benefits or savings to carry you through the valley?

The lack of buffer is a concern for most Americans. It is true that most are just half a paycheck away from a more painful experience. This is not a construct limited to the black experience, but it is more likely the experience of black people due to the overwhelming dearth of generational wealth.

When a parent dies, there’s little left behind to help buffer the next generation – no home, no business, not enough insurance to pave the way for the children and grandchildren to exist without liability. The buffer is related to catching up. There’s no room to make mistakes.

Crabmeat

This is the hardest to talk about. It’s easier, in most cases, to address the maddening emotions stirred by white supremacy, power and manipulation. This one is about what black people do to each other to prevent movement toward dreams.

Within the culture, we call it crabs in the barrel. It’s the image of a barrel filled with crabs all seeking escape. None are able to escape due to the others grabbing and pulling them back into that miserable barrel. None escape the inevitability of becoming crabmeat.

If I can’t make it, no one will. If I can’t make it, all of us should remain trapped in a life of unfulfilled freedom.

I witnessed black people drag another black man down recently during a Durham City Council meeting. His plan to own and build a multi-usage complex was set to revolutionize black economic development in the city. With more than 30% black ownership, it was an example of equity for black people in economic development.

The crabs pulled him down.

The competing company located a group of influential crabs to pull him down. It was painful to witness black men and women support the competing proposal.

Black members of the city council voted against a black man born in the city. Like crabs in a barrel, they sided with a company incapable of providing evidence of black ownership in a multimillion-dollar development.

How should a person feel after being offered as crabmeat?

It was an opportunity for solidarity.

Catching up, buffer and crabmeat.

Yeah, that’s how I feel.

Critics of Mayor Pro Tem Jillian Johnson question her judgment after Facebook post

Things are heating up in Durham's City Council primary election. The attacks read like a battle for the soul of the city. It's a battle to unravel the meaning and significance of progressive identity.

For more details, go to Ade Toyesi Ibijok's (Nia Wilson) Facebook page and read the thread regarding an exchange involving a Facebook post of Mayor Pro Tem Jillian Johnson. Here’s a tease to get you started:

“All of y’all having a field day over on Jillian’s FB page about a man who was born and raised in Durham and has done more for his community than any of you could dream of... you liberal ass privilege and white supremacy is showing. You wonder why I said vote for Joshua Gunn cause he ain’t so arrogant as to post pictures of someone opposing his campaign and talk shit about them. Because he actually does believe in a “Durham for ALL” (ain’t that the name of your organization). Who’s trolling who here?”

A bit more:

“Let’s talk for a moment about power and why these posts and comments are such a problem. The same standards we hold police, who have the power to kill us to are the ones we hold elected officials, who have the power to create policies that can harm people who don’t agree with them to. Based on these posts, tell me why any marginalized group of people should trust you?”

There’s more about the spreading of an alleged lie that Jackie Wagstaff, another candidate for office, threated to bring a gun to city hall. My reporting concludes that’s fake news. Tension began to swell after Rodrigo Dorfman wrote an email addressing comments Wilson made at a People's Alliance endorsement meeting. Wilson and others contend Dorfman's critique exposes racism within Durham's white progressive community.

Why does this matter? Because it may speak to a myriad of issues involving assumptions of power, accountability and privilege. It may confront what happens when people of privilege (mostly white) show up to evaluate the political intentions of people outside their understanding of who has the right to speak and how they engage in that speech.

Johnson posting pictures of a person wearing a t-shirt and passing out flyers requesting people to “Vote No” for her and another candidate is problematic. Why? Because she is elected to serve the person wearing that shirt ,and creating space for others to chime in is reflective, on the surface, of the type of lampooning that makes it difficult to trust.

People championing Johnson's work and advocacy are correct to point to her being a black woman with a passion to curtail adding more police. She helped  build Durham for All, a multiracial, cross-class progressive movement to impact local elections. Johnson is a strong proponent of criminal justice reform and creating affordable housing solutions to offset gentrification.

How does a black female credited with modeling support for progressive political agendas forfeit the support of black people most impacted by the type of disparity she addresses? The answer may be the result of discontent stirred by the vote of Johnson, Charlie Reece and Javiera Caballero against Police Chief C.J Davis's recommendation to include in the budget money to add 17 new officers. Johnson, Reece and Caballero solidified their position by running as a block in a campaign called Bull City Together.

Johnson's Facebook post is about how she responds to critics as a member of the Durham City Council. Citizens have the right to respond in ways that reflect their passion for what matters to them. This is about all of that.

But this also about the others on that thread who took time to take jabs at a man who works hard to get people engaged in the work of making his community better. Shame on all of you for spewing characterizations minimizing the integrity of his position. 

This primary uncovers heighted resentment toward Johnson and others who claim standing and speaking on behalf of black and brown people. This is an election regarding the messaging of white progressives and how these points are perceived as “we know more than you. Sit down and shut up.” It also unveils resentment stirred when a black woman takes positions with white progressives against a black man who's doing heavy lifting.

It’s brutal out here.

Pass the bottle of whup ass: The limits of forgiveness

I like hugs. They stir mushy feeling that help me make it through bad days. I’m not hating on hugs or the desire to cry in the arms of a woman convicted of killing your brother. It’s your thang, do what you wanna do.

I understand the urge to announce forgiveness. There’s a release budged by ending the ache of endless midnights with a confession to set the pain free. Be gone. I’m no longer chained by my desire to end your life.

I sort of get it. Naw. I don’t get it.

I can’t because I have never endured the death of a sibling at the hands of a police officer too tired to recognize the furniture in the room is not the same as the apartment they sleep in most nights. I have too many questions regarding who trained her, what she was smoking, drinking or what she was doing before she reached for her gun.

It’s not my brother who was killed leaving me free to speculate on why a brother would proclaim “I forgive you. I don’t want you to spend any time in jail.”

The wisdom of native Americans warns not to judge a person until they’ve walked two moons in their moccasins. I haven’t cried long enough to disparage 18-year-old Brandt Jean, Botham’s brother, to announce “I want the best for you.” Young Botham’s spiritual journey is a unique experience that led to his courtroom proclamation.

I understand spiritual journey. I understand confession, release and a big bag of other spiritual practices meant to help in confronting my relationship with the world. Doing this life thang ain’t easy for black folk living in America. Can I get two witnesses?

My experience, and yours, isn’t the same as brother Brandt’s spiritual journey. So, wagging this big middle finger at his confession seems cruel. Nonetheless, I’m wagging that finger. I affirm his journey and find significance in his desire to set Sister Guyger free after killing his brother. Thanks be to black Jesus and all the disciples for the faith to hug the woman who killed his brother. Again, do you. High fives. Go to the strong Christian line behind all the other martyrs. Put on that bleached robe and golden slippers, but I’m not there yet.

In fact, I’m not drinking the Kool Aid. I need new language to reflect on my relationship with Jesus and the Church. Drum up some updated language to convey the meaning of grace, mercy and forgiveness. Help me get to the shout after all that forgiving. Why? Because I’m still pondering what it all means after a series of black people dying at the hands of law enforcement officers devoid of a credible apology.

Show me yours before I show you mine.

There’s something about black people offering forgiveness to resolve white guilt. Is it valid to expect some forgiveness? I’m reminded of the roll call of black folks forgiving white people. I have no evidence of white folks doing the same. I have memories of black bodies left to bake in the sun while white people made excuses for why they pulled the trigger.

Maybe grace is the absence of a double-standard, but why is the forgiveness of white people always the standard. Maybe forgiveness is a colorblind solution to offset the burden of sin, but why are prisons packed with innocent black men and women sentenced for no reasons. When it comes to the assumptions of white Evangelical Christian theological thought, the need to extend forgiveness is what black people do.

Isn’t forgiveness what Christians do? Sounds reasonable to assert that as a fundamental statement of faith. There’s one problem with the thesis. Forgiveness is what black Christians do. From my vantage point, white people are slack in extending forgiveness.

I can affirm young Brandt’s spiritual witness. Maybe forgiveness is what he needs to live with all the pain. What about the rest of us? How do we survive with the expectation of forgiveness? What is left spiritually when there isn’t any forgiveness left to give?

Chest bump to those strong enough to give it. As for me, pass a bottle of whup ass. My tank is empty.

How about you?

Lessons from 911

[Sermon Carl W. Kenney II preached on Sunday, September 15, 2019 at Liberation Station, home of Underground Church in Durham, North Carolina.]

Luke 19:37-44

³⁷ When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen. “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”^[a] “Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” ³⁹ Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!” ⁴⁰ “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” ⁴¹ As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it ⁴² and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. ⁴³ The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. ⁴⁴ They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.” 

I Don’t remember anything that preceded that moment. Not what I ate for breakfast. Not the color of my suit, shirt and tie or the music played before the interruption for an important announcement.

Everything seemed frozen in space after Tom Joyner announced a plane flew into the World Trade Center. I was waiting for the stop light to change from Red to green on the corner of Angier Avenue and Driver Street. The clock on my dashboard indicated it was 9:05 a.m. It was a Tuesday and the partly cloudy sky seemed to turn dark as soon as I heard the news.

I thought of the Gospels record of the moment Jesus took his last breath. Everything seemed to move in slow moment as I prayed it was a joke reminiscent of Arson Wells 1938 broadcast of War of the Worlds.

2,977 people died. 6,000 people were injured. Ten Billion dollars in infrastructure and property damage. It didn’t end there. Others have died of 911 related cancer and respiratory diseases since the attack.

That day changed America. America overthrew Iraqi President Saddam Hussein accusing him of developing weapons of mass destruction and harboring U.S. designated terrorist organization.  Six trillion dollars was spent on a war. Around 500,000 people died.

What followed has been a series of cultural shifts that redefine what it means to be an American. Barack Obama was elected the first black President in the history of America inspired by the slogan YES, We CAN. His election was followed by the rise of the Tea Party an alt-right movement that covers what fells like white supremacist rhetoric.

The backlash from the Obama presidency cultivated the rise of Donald Trump and here we are. Understanding today from the context of our spirituality is helped by a critique of lessons learned from 911.

How does 911 help us in the development of work aimed at providing liberation?

I.             Confusing Government for God

This scripture and point are what Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright, Jr. used in his now famous sermon where he used the catchphrase “God Damn America”. Many lost the point of Dr. Wright’s sermon due to a desire to use both the sermon and Dr. Wright’s theology to make a point that Obama is too radical for America

Dr. Wright’s points are critical in constructing lessons from 911. The prophet Jeremiah from Chicago helps us not to confuse government from God.

We’ve learned the military doesn’t make for peace. War does not lead to peace. Regime change does not lead to peace. Occupying another country does not lead to peace. Press conference declaring victory does not lead to peace.  Colonizing a country does not lead to peace. Building walls does not lead to peace.

The desire for a new king is not a solution leading to peace. In today’s scripture, they wanted to make Jesus a King. In verse 44, Jesus says you did not recognize the time of the visitation from God. He is saying you did not recognize my ministry. You did not recognize my work. You are missing the meaning of my work. You missed what it takes to have peace. You miss the point of eternal power. You are missing the source of peace. You are looking for a man and miss the one the man represents.

You are trapped in a fascination for miracles. You desire sight for the blind. You seek healing for the sick. You’re fascinated and overjoyed with being fed in the wilderness. You came looking for a miracle and lost the meaning of the miracle. The miracles point to God who is greater than the limitations you seek to overcome.

The things that make for peace, only God can fix. The government can’t fix it. This is the seduction of oppression. Looking for the government to fix what only God can fix.

This is the mistake of black leadership, looking for another Martin to fix it. Looking for another black Messiah to lead the way to the Promised Land. Obama helped, but he couldn’t fix it. Getting new leadership helps, but the government isn’t God.

This is the mistake we make when we say God condones the killing of innocent men, women and children. This is the mistake we make when we justify the death of civilians as collateral damage. This is the mistake of blessing pre-emptive strike in the name of Jesus. This is the mistake of blessing what we do in the name of Jesus while condoning Al-Qaida for doing the same thing. This is the mistake of celebrating the deaths of thousands of men, women and children by drones during the Obama Administration because they called on the name of a different God. This is the mistake of calling on God to bless America and kill everyone else. It’s what happens when you make them into an enemy while using God as an endorsement.

This is confusing God with government. It’s what happens when you teach children America is the Promised Land given by God. It’s America’s manifest destiny. It’s God’s will to destroy all enemies. It’s what happens when we teach people God ordered the deaths of native Americans. Confusing God with government is teaching God ordered the enslavement of black people because white people are superior. It’s why the constitution fails to hold truths for black people and women. The founder fathers didn’t believe they are created equal.

Confusing government and God endorse segregation. It means God approves of less than 10 percent of people controlling 90 percent of the world’s resources. It approves tax breaks for the rich. Men denying women the right to choose what they do with their bodies. Confusing government for God justifies pulling out of the Geneva agreement. It believes there is no global warming. It endorses capital punishment in the face of evidence proving innocence. Confusing government and God protect oil companies. If gives a political party the power to gerrymander black people out of power. It makes government a replacement for God by giving power to a few and denying the Constitutional rights of others. It rejects freedom of speech. It denies freedom of the press. It gives power to kill with no justice.

God is about truth. God is about justice. Governments offer justice for the wealthy.  Governments deceive. Governments destroy lives. Governments steal power. Governments change. This is not the government of Barack Obama. This is a more dishonest government. This is a government managed by twitter. This is a government compromised by foreign intrusion. This is a different type of government. Thank God governments change.

State government will soon change.

Local government will soon change.

Public policies change.

The impact of oppression changes.

God told pharaoh, let my people go.

Oppression changes with changes in leadership

The Supreme Court changes.

Presidents change. Thank God for change

Jim and Jane Crow change.

Elections have been stolen, but change will come.

Governments change, but God doesn’t change.

God has always been against slavery. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. God has not changed. God has always been a God of justice. God has always been a God of peace.

911 has taught us a lesson involving the consequence of confusing government and God. It’s the danger of trusting the role of government more than the will of God.

II. Walls built to keep people out, keep us trapped within

⁴³ The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. ⁴⁴ They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.” Luke 19:37-44

They will build walls and hem you on every side. They will force you on the ground. They will arrest you and place you and your children on the other side of the wall.

Walls are built to keep people out. The Great Wall of China was built to keep out the invading hordes of Genghis Khan. It stretches 6,700 kilometers over the Chinese frontier. It has stood for over 2000 years and is the symbol of a nations desire to be safe. It’s a symbol of strength. It’s a psychological barrier to repel outside influences.

            The Berlin Wall divided Berlin physically and ideologically from 1961 to 1989. Its separate West Berlin from East Germany. It included guard towers placed along large concrete walls with and area that contained anti-vehicle trenches. The Eastern bloc portrayed the wall as a protection for the people against fascist elements conspiring to prevent the will of the people in building a socialist state.

            The wall was built to keep people out. It was built to control people. The wall is like a prison. It kept people from getting in.

            Walls also keep people locked into believing they have all they need. Walls keep people from visiting family members. They restrict the natural activity of families and friends. They stir the type of nationalism that takes ownership of land and grants governments the right to control the flow of love between mothers, fathers and their children.

            Walls feed suspicion and distrust, hatred and hostility. At the Berlin Wall, East German guards would watch with keen eyes both sides of the wall making certain that no one came in or out. Many people were killed trying to escape East Germany. And where their bodies fell, West Germans would erect crosses as a reminder and open defiance of the East German guards.

            Walls are constructed to restrict the movement of love.

            People rejoiced when the Berlin Wall was dismantled in 1989.  West Germans were reunited with East Germans to become one Germany after 45 years of painful division. But when the wall came down, I believe the Germans discovered an invisible wall that was even more difficult to tear down.

There were two cultures at odds: one of an oppressed people, the other free-thinking and prosperous. East Germans may have felt like 2nd class citizens, charity cases for the West, while the West may have felt resentment at having to support their poor brothers. It was a new kind of hostility still experienced today.

Some walls are built with concrete. Others are built with indifference.  911 exposed the walls that divide America followed by the call to build a wall limiting movement at the border. 911 exposed a spiritual division based on ignorance.

Walls are being built to keep love out.

III. 911 taught us there is something deeper than our hate.

For some it was a patriotism that stirred a will to pull neighbors from the pile destruction. We witnessed first responders walk into the valley of death and fear no evil. Many died. Some survived with disabilities. It was a few days of unity.

911 taught us what we can be. We saw it again with Katrina. In the muck of national hypocrisy, we saw people come together. Tragedy can do that. The best of the human spirit often comes in seasons of death. Tragedy can do that. Tragedy removes the lens that sees race as a barrier. Tragedy does that.

It softens the heart. It stirs the will to love. It activates the desire for change.

The death of more than 200,00 people in 2010 Earthquake in Haiti did that.

The Tsunami in Thailand did that.

Tragedies moves us closer to the heart of God by revealing what we couldn’t see.

911 is an example of what we can be.

The lesson is about what we can be when governments don’t get in the way. Governments enact policies. Governments begin wars. Governments alter the truth. Governments still elections.

911 teaches us another lesson. People are created with goodness. Tragedy brings it out. 911 helps us see the goodness. It’s there. It’s deep in our spirits. It desires to come out. It seeks places to make a difference.

911 teaches us a lesson about what the government can take away. Its what power does. It fights to maintain control. It places people on the other side of the wall. It locks up children. It denies justice.

911 teaches us about the evil of politics. They nominate sexual abusive men for powerful positions. They steal elections. They establish double standards. They use trickery to maintain power. 911 is a lesson about deception.

But give people a chance to love. This is the work of the church

We are better than this. We don’t have to bow to these golden images. 

911 Teaches us about the role of the Church as a counter voice attacking forces of institutionalized evil. The Church is the prophetic voice disputing massive waves of indifference. The Church says no to policies aimed at demonizing people while justifying the right to kill. The Church is the spiritual heartbeat of the world. We stand, as faith communities in opposition to efforts designed to separate we from them with the Bible as our witness.

911 helps us look back. Look at what we have become. The aftermath of 911 is what happens when spirit is removed from the work of faith. This is what happens when we worship our national sentiments more than our common bonds. This is what happens when we make God an American citizen and those on the other side of the border demons. This is what happens when race is used to deny support.

This is the evil of relegating the humanity of those people. Those dark skinned people. those people from S-hole countries who seek to enter America. This is the lesson of 911. Build walls. Make the Republican Party a new type of religion. Make America white again by denying justice to all of those other people.

But, there is good news. The Good News is we're still here. A remnant. A people called by God to disrupt their plan. Called to dispute the plan toreplace God with a remade version of the way things were back in days when being a white man was the best of days.

We, the Church, are God's plan of inclusion.

We, the Church, are God's plan of equity and justice

We, the Church, are God's plan to elevate lessons from our mistakes

We, people of all types of faith, are called to teach a different lesson.

It's a lesson about peace, real peace. Justice, real justice, hope, real hope.

We, the people, teach lessons about why we vote. Why we march. Why we fight for justice. Why it matters. Why we can't give up. Never. No way. We shall not be moved. My feet may be weary. My spirit has been damaged by the ongoing confrontation with the evil assuming a place of power.

But, I hear the voice of God

Keep hope alive.

Yes, we can.

Trouble in my way, I got to cry sometime.

Weeping may endure for the night. 911 was a dark night.

But, joy, God's joy. Comes in the morning.